The Fuck is This?
by UndoneChaos
Summary: Another dreary day in South Park... But wait! Stan has found FanFiction! How will his friends react to the news? Will they uncover deep secrets along the way, or will they be disgusted forever? Rating may go up due the I have no idea what's going to happen yet. Sorry it's taking so long... I promise I'll try not to forget this story and at least add one more chapter, OK?
1. What is This?

**Back at last!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, **_**blah, blah, blah**_**. Now can we get to the story?**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Oh, God…" Stan opened his eyes to the monotone beep of his alarm. It was a noise he dreaded dearly, mostly because when it went off it signaled the start to yet another droll school day. But today it signaled his 11th birthday.

Now, you would think that he would be happy about his birthday, but it was just the opposite. He had come to dread his birthdays, ever since his 10th when everything became shit to him. That problem had long since resolved itself, but who knows what could happen this year?

Momentarily forgetting the dread, he got up out of bed to get ready. After spending 30 minutes getting ready—teeth and hair brushed, taking a shower, and putting on his clothes—he sat down at his computer to check his e-mail.

"Okay… Let's see. Checked e-mail, fed virtual pet, now it's on to Facebook." Stan groaned. He hated Facebook with every fiber of his being, but somehow Kyle had convinced him to make a new account. Even after his old one had turned evil and sucked him in.

Stan clicked on the bookmark for Facebook, resulting in ending up on his profile page. He had 10 new notices. Checking to see what they were, he noticed an ad for a website called .

Now, Stan is not the type of person to be concerned with everyday ads like this one, but this one ad had drawn his attention for some reason. Choosing to ignore the voice in his head that said _stay away_, he clicked on the pop-up.

When he had reached the website, a page popped up with a search bar on it. Just above the search bar were the words 'Search Anything!'. So that's just what he did.

Now, excuse Stan for being slightly self-involved, but he had typed his own name, Stan Marsh, into the search bar and hit 'return'. To his surprise, more than a hundred results came up within seconds. He clicked on the first one, a story entitled 'The Three Best Friends'.

When the story had appeared, he had started reading it. About ten minutes in, a disgusted look crossed his face. He reached across his desk for his phone and made two phone calls. The first to Kyle, and the second to Kenny. And he said the same to both of them.

"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here!"

And they had both responded, "We'll be on our way".

**Ah, back into the wonders of South Park FanFiction! I missed you, old pal! Well, what did you think? Hmmm? Can you guess what the story was about? No? Well you'll just have to wait and see! Hmmph**


	2. Discovering a Whole New Thing

**Finally the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SP. Not at all. Really, if I owned t, I wouldn't be writing this… I'd be making it into an episode.**

Kenny and Kyle entered Stan's room. "We got the call. What happened dude?" Kyle asked. Kenny nodded.

"You sounded all serious and stuff…" Kenny's words were muffled by his orange parka. He walked over to Stan's computer and sat down. "What's this? Is this what you meant?" He gestured to the screen.

"Yeah, I read a pretty fucked up story about us. You might want to brace yourself." Stan said. Kenny turned back to the screen.

"Kenny, why don't you read it?" Kyle suggested. Kenny nodded.

"OK. Here goes:"

_**The Three Friends by AnimalPopDougie722**_

"Oh, wow… This story is long! I'll just skim to the middle…" Kenny skimmed through the story.

_**Kyle dug his fingernails into Stan's back as he blew him. Meanwhile, Kenny was fucking Stan in the ass. **_

"WHAT?!" Kenny pulled down his hood and stared at the screen in horror. "I was fucking _who_ in the ass? That doesn't make sense! I'm better at blow jobs."

"THAT'S ALL YOU TOOK OUT OF THAT?" Kyle screeched in disgust. Stan was just standing in the corner nodding.

"I told you it's pretty fucked up, man!" Stan commented. Kenny swiveled around in the chair to face his two friends.

"No shit." Kenny chuckled. "Who in the world has a mind as fucked up as this?" He turned to Stan. "I would not fuck you in the ass, bro. Don't worry." Stan looked at him funny.

"Well I know THAT, at least I thought pretty much… Check out the next one." Stan pointed to the next story on the list.

_**Coffee Addicted Boyfriend by Creekalisious**_

Kyle scanned the screen. "Woah, this one's about Craig and Tweek doing it and shit!" He said in a disturbed voice.

"I always thought they made a cute couple…." Kenny sighed, getting all misty eyed. Stan snorted.

"Like I said, this is some fucked up shit! Now, we need to warn Craig and Tweek about these stories, and we should probably let everyone else know too." Kyle and Kenny simultaneously nodded.

"Call everyone up. We need to make an announcement." Kyle said.

**There's the second chappie! AND IT TOOK A WHILE TOO, I KNOW. Enjoy! And give me some stories or ideas.**

**Oh, and the story names and users that I used, I made up. If there is really a story or user out there with a name that I used, please forgive me. I didn't realize. :))**


End file.
